No Honor In Blood
by Venomis
Summary: When the only important person in Maerwynn's life is taken from her, she leaves the lands she grew up in and promises God she won't rest before she finds him.
1. Foreword

_ "Heroism doesn't always happen in a burst of glory. Sometimes small triumphs and large hearts change the course of history."- Mary Roach_

. . .

Hey all! Here's a little foreword. It's my first Vikings fanfiction and I have only read one other Vikings fanfic, so sorry if this doesn't meet the fandom standards. (:

Anyway, I feel the need to say that I base my stories lightly on the original story line; I like to take some aspects from the show to build my own story upon it. So it will probably differ a lot from the show. Furthermore this story will focus on the main characters of the second season, so mainly Ragnar, Lagertha, Rollo, Athelstan and Floki.

I plan to update at least two times a month while I'm trying to finish some other stories, but comments will absolutely encourage me to pay more attention to this fanfic, so I'd love to hear from you. (:


	2. Smoke on the Horizon

The smoke plumes rising up above the Lindisfarne monastery were hidden from Maerwynn's sight, nor did she hear the screams of dying priests, the frightful holler of their attackers and the rattling of swords. She was deep in the woods, where her brother had taken her to when she was seven years old. The small hut she lived in, he had built himself at eleven. Ever since, she lived here, hidden from the rest of the world.

It wasn't like she was completely living in isolation. Of course she visited the neighboring villages at times, trying to sell her handcrafted woodworks. Supplemented by what nature was offering her, she kept herself alive. There were even a few shallow friendships, but apart from her brother only one person knew where she lived. Idris, who had discovered her hut during a hunt three years ago. Ever since they were close friends, although he didn't know about her condition. He had never asked for the reason why she was living here all by herself; he was the type of person asking no questions but always offering a sympathetic ear. In turn, Maerwynn had never told him anything about it either; why would she take the risk of telling him? What if he never wanted to see her again? Maybe he even believed she deserved to die. Even her own parents believed she did, so why would he be any different? She knew what she was – no matter how hard she was trying to be someone else. Someone normal.

Maerwynn shook off the thought before heaviness would take over her mind, walked to the small kitchen en took a bowl from a cabinet. She intended to fill it with blackberries.

She was just picking the fruit when a pungent smell invaded her nostrils.

Fire.

She froze immediately; it had been a while since rain had fallen and the flames tended to spread quickly through the forest. It was a fear that was buried deep within her. When she was twelve, there had been a fire close by and even though the flames never reached her hut, the fire had consumed her a thousand times during her nightmares.

Was it really the wood that was on fire? Or was there a fire outbreak in the monastery? Then the bells would have rung, right? Maerwynn wasn't completely sure they hadn't; her hearing wasn't as good as her sense of smell and once her thoughts were occupied, distant sounds used to fade.

Dropping the bowl, she hastened to the farm of Idris' parents. Quickly she searched all the places he used to work, but there was no one to be seen. Dazed, she stood still in the middle of the farmyard. Where did they go? Was the fire so close? She glanced around, but the high trees blocked most of her sight. Nowhere she saw the destroying red gleam or dark smoke.

She decided to go to the monastery. It was a long walk, it wasn't wise to go without a filled water bottle – which she hadn't taken with her in her haste. Should she take her chances? It was warm – but not that hot that she wouldn't survive. But what if the fire barricaded the way back? If it surrounded her? Nervously, she scratched her forearm.

Leaving the yard, she took her chances, walking up to the narrow forest path leading to the monastery. The closer she got, the more people she saw in the distance. They were running, looking over their shoulder, crying. Maerwynn made a few attempts to discover from what they were running, but it seemed like they couldn't even see her in their panic.

As she saw a girl of her own age, she grabbed the woman's arm. "What's going on?" She gave the woman a penetrating stare.

"Heathens," she whispered. "Devils from over sea. They attacked the monastery, they killed everyone!"

Maerwynn froze. Her thoughts shot to her brother. Had he escaped? She prayed to God he had escaped – a loyal servant like him didn't deserve to die, right? But only a miracle could save him; he had always renounced weapons. He hadn't even wanted to touch her arrow, telling her he respected life too much.

The girl tore away her arm and started to run again. Maerwynn stepped away from the road, touching for the dagger she was wearing on her hip. She never left her hut without the knife, in the wilderness one was never completely safe. Parallel to the path, Maerwynn traveled to the north. She had to find his body so she could bury him. She owed him that.

The streets were desolated when she reached the monastery. There were bleeding bodies as far the eye could see, causing a lump in her throat. Parts of the complex were on fire; if her brother's body was there, she would never find him. A few tears slipped her eyes, which she wiped away brusquely. She wasn't going to cry. Not before something convinced her that he was really dead.

It took long before the fire consumed everything it wanted to consume. Maerwynn was sitting on the edge of the settlement, her knees bent. The savages were long gone. More people returned to the settlement, hoping to find survivors.

"Ma'me?" She felt a bony hand on her shoulder and looked up. A wrinkled face stared back at her. "You were close to Athelstan, am I right?"

She jumped up and nodded. "Yes! Have you – have you seen him? Do you know what happened to him?"

"They took him."

"W-what?" With wide eyes she stared at the ancient monk. There was mud on his habit.

That wasn't the answer she expected. She had been convinced that he was dead or that he had fled – the possibility that the strangers would take him had never occurred to her. "Why would they do that?"

"I do not know, my child." He squeezed her shoulder. "I do not know. He was the only one they made a prisoner; they killed everyone else."

Maerwynn pulled away from his hand and started to run. She obviously couldn't take any action against a group of men, but she _had _to catch a last glimpse of her brother. Maybe they changed their minds, leaving him on the beach... For why on earth would they want to take him with them?

Panting, she reached the shore. There she sank down on her knees. In the distance boats were floating, the red sails raised high. The beach was empty. Defeated she stared at the boats floating away.

Tears glided down her cheeks when the loneliness dug its claws in her heart. Now she was all alone. Even her brother was taken from her.

She squared her shoulders.

No. She would fight a destiny like that – she would fight until she died.

Her brother wasn't dead; they had taken him because they wanted him to live.

She didn't know how, nor when, but she would find him.

After all the things he had done for her over the past years, it was time to return the favor. She wouldn't give up on him, like he never gave up on her.


	3. Getting Prepared

The clock was ticking – and at the same time it wasn't.

There was no way to estimate the danger her brother was in. How long would they keep him alive? Of what use was he for them? The doubts were eating her, trying to persuade her to leave as soon as possible. Before she would be too late.

However, deep down she knew it would take months before she would find him. Maybe even years. There was even a significant chance she would never find him at all. Still, that knowledge didn't stop her: at least _trying _to find him felt almost more important than actually finding him. They would make it, as long as she wouldn't give up.

And that's why it was smarter not to rush into things. A few more days wouldn't matter. And the better she was prepared, the bigger the chance she would find him.

The first three days Maerwynn spent on collecting information. However, there wasn't much the people could tell her. It had been Norsemen and they came from the North. Things she already knew.

One name was repeating itself. Ragnar Lothbrok. The raid had been led by a man called Ragnar Lothbrok; a few refugee priests had been able to tell her that. It was a start. A name was helpful. Someone leading an action like that was probably famous and well known; once she had reached the lands of the Norsemen someone might be willing to help her.

It gave her a bit of guidance.

With help of Idris she even managed to lay her hand on a map; his grandfather worked in an archive in a close by town. With his approval they had borrowed the scroll so Maerwynn could copy it. Her brother had taught her to write and read. She never understood its value; until now. It gave her strength; it gave her the feeling he had been preparing her for this mission. Maybe her life would finally find its purpose.

* * *

"I hate to let you leave on your own." Idris gave her a squeezing hug.

She sighed softly. It wasn't the first time he was bringing it up. But this was her call and she wanted to go alone. Idris had his own life. He loved the simple life of a farmer, the last thing she wanted was taking him on an adventure that would most probably lead to his dead.

"I can take care of myself, Idris," she smiled. "That's what I've been doing for years. I would discourage every woman to travel alone, but I'm not like them. I live in the woods for years, all by myself. I know what to eat, how to make a fire. How to survive in the wilderness. I can protect myself, I can hunt. I can do what every man can do."

"I don't doubt you," he answered softly, raking his fingers through her hair. A gesture that made her feel shy; he'd never done that before. "But all by yourself... You need someone to talk to."

"The Lord will send the right people to help me on my way. I have faith in Him."

"Yeah..." He took her hands in his. "My prayers are with you. I hope – I hope we will meet again."

"If it's the Lord's will, we will." She smiled at him. "But I will pray for my return too." She read the doubts in her friend's eyes. "I will be alright," she ensured him.

"It doesn't feel alright, Maer. Let me at least accompany you until you've reached the coast. Until you've found a passage. I can lend you a horse, which I can take back once you leave England. It will save you a lot of time."

Maerwynn hesitated. Part of her was afraid. Afraid that he would discover her secret.

But turning down help – help that would help her to find her brother sooner, just because she was afraid? That was wrong. That wasn't how she wanted to be.

"Fine," she said softly.

Maybe nothing would happen. Her last seizure was many, many moons ago.

And if it did happen... well they were going to say their goodbyes anyway. There wasn't much left to lose.

And so, they both mounted a horse, riding east. Over her shoulder, Maerwynn looked one more time at the woods where she had lived and which she might never see again. The place were she had spent so many years, where she had struggled through dark days and where she had experienced happiness, and freedom.

The place where the demon inside her had forced her to go to – and at the same time, it was the reason that she was able to go on this journey. Without its existence, she never would have become the woman she was now. Independent, strong, determined.

Without it, she wouldn't be on a horse right now, riding to foreign lands.

On her way to save her brother from demons that might not be inferior to the one residing inside her.


	4. Author's Note

Dear readers,

Since I have twenty (!) unfinished stories which I still try to update, I have decided to focus on two stories at the same time and finish them one by one – which means multiple chapters a week. I've decided to let my readers decide what stories I'm going to finish first, so please leave a comment on this chapter if you want me to work on this one. I will finish all my stories, but it might take a long while before I return to the ones there aren't much people interested in.

For the amazing readers who read multiple of my works, sorry for the spam!

(I know many readers aren't comfortable with commenting, so leaving a (-) or something does the job too. ;D)


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